Archive for February, 2011

four years

February 23, 2007: My urologist phones me at work at 2:00 in the afternoon to tell me that my biopsy is positive. I have prostate cancer.

Life as I know it disappears.

Four years that seem like at least ten. Physical changes, emotional upheaval, losses and losses and losses again and again.

There is one constant loss through these years: the loss of certainty. There’s no planning for the future, only short-term decisions and doing what I can do, here and now.

I’ve met many good people in these four years, people who have taught me about life and living. Some have gone into remission and moved on. And I’ve lost some friends to cancer, good people who watched the inevitable happen and met their deaths with grace and peace.

Life is fragile. Love endures.


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